Girls Guide to...All Day Drinking

By: HANDBAG

Welcome to the Girls Guide, the one and only place you'll get the dish on what to do and what not to do.

This guide is about surviving an all day drinking event.

Girls first off, if you don't like to drink all day and if you do only drink 1 glass of Merlot I really can't help you, and you might as well stop reading now. Ok, back to the all day drinking event, we'll go with College Football Saturday event since it's football season. Let's get started, here is the girls guide to All Day Drinking…

Dress Code, Don't Look Like a Stripper

Dress code, this is key; stripper heals, short shorts, FMB's, and/or black pants are not appropriate for all day drinking. You look like a whore, and are asking for cheesy come on's by Fabio all day, just don't.

You don't want to be "that girl" with head to toe team colors, either, it just isn't cool. You want to go casual for this type of day. For the casual look, you want that "oh that is cute" not that "look who just took 3 hours to get ready" look. It's good to try but to not look like you tried. Go with a cute pair of semi casual jeans (personal favs: Rock & Republics and/or Citizens), diesel gym shoes (substitute pumas if you want, also heels are ok, but only if they're boots), cute sweater in team color (go Lacoste they have the full rainbow to choose from), and finish the look with tanks underneath. Finally, pull on a baseball hat (this can be team related but it is not necessary). I have it straight from the horses mouth "Girls look hot in hats", says Joe Shmoe Male. 

Key to dress code for day drinking is not looking like a stripper or that you tried to hard, casual cool is the way to go.  Remember girls, looking like a cheap piece of trash is never appropriate.

Drinks, Don't Start Mixed Unless You Want to Go Home Random

Ok many girls make the mistake of starting the day off with a vodka tonic or cranberry god knows what, if you start an all day drinking event with a mixed drink like this you are going to go home with a random at 3:00 in the afternoon. Girls, when you wake up from the blackout in some random guys apartment, and try to sneak out to do the walk of shame at 5 in the afternoon, don't call me, I'll just say "I told you so".

One mixed drink that is an appropriate start to an all day drinking event is a Bloody Mary. They are delicious, have vitamins, and take longer than other drinks to drink. They are also often served with a bunch of crap like olives, celery, lemons, limes, etc. This drink is great because it deals with 2 other key components to all day drinking; pacing yourself and eating, but we'll get to those after the drinks.

I know a lot of girls love wine, I do too, but it is not an appropriate drink for all day drinking, you look like a snobby bitch sitting there with your merlot. Beer is the drink of choice for all day drinking, yes some people might think it is trashy to drink beer, but that is just too bad, you won't survive the day on much else. Now, you may think it is appropriate to go with whatever beer you like, and you'd be wrong. You need a light beer to survive the all day drinking challenge, my personal fav is Miller Lite, but if you must, you can go Amstel Light. Remember, you're drinking all day, and you don't want to be a bloated whale when you leave because you drank heavy beer all day.

Oh, one last bit on drinks, at all costs, stay away from shots!  If you must do a shot, ask for a weak shot, you are not a 300 pound linebacker; you don't need to do tequila shots to keep up with the guys!  It is never going to end well, trust me, I've seen the results of this and it takes quite a while to live them down. See again going home with a random if you feel the need to do shots, nobody is going to want to see the pictures of you at your finest on the Internet!

Food, Eat Bitch

Yes, girls, bar food is fattening, but seriously who gives a shit? Do an extra 15 minutes on the treadmill on Sunday to make up for the chicken sandwich or veggie burger you eat on Saturday.  But, for gods sakes eat something while you drink! A stomach of only beer and the occasional shot makes for a very sloppy mess. Eat garnishes, eat the free popcorn, but, just remember to eat! 

Pace Yourself, It is not a Race

I know this one seems obvious, but really, you don't get a metal for chugging your beers. What you do get is bruises on your hips and knees from falling down, and/or on your face from smacking into the toilet seat while you puke. None of these bruises are fun or cute.

One trick to pacing yourself, and this is the real secret to day drinking, is going water-for-beer. What I mean is, for every beer you drink, ask the waitress for water. Yes, the waitress will glare at you, forget, at least ½ of the waters you ask for, and probably talk about how high maintenance you are, but who cares, she sucks anyway. Drink water and pace yourself, this is all day drinking, not a boat race! Oh and by the way, stay way from drinking games, before you know it you'll be carried out of the bar at 2:00, and wake up at 8:00 wondering how you got home. This can be especially embarrassing if you've declared yourself a great drinker and are proven otherwise by shot-gunning beers at noon!

Rounds, Just don't Do It

Do not go round-for-round beers with the guys. They are bigger than you, and will drink you under the table, even if you can drink a ton. Guys will be grabbing another round before you've even taken your second sip, and will be wiping the floor with you by round 4— when you are telling your girlfriends how much you love them. Anyway, if you must go rounds try and get the first one, so that you've participated but don't have to stay in till it's your "time to buy". If you do get in, remember it is Ok to skip a round or 4.

Remember No Means No

All day drinking is going to happen and it can be the best of times and/or the worst of times. Remember, don't dress like a tramp—casual is king. Beer and water will keep you going while you laugh at that "poor girl" who is sitting in the bathroom stall crying and asking for her friends at 3:30 in the afternoon, (she clearly didn't have this guide). Remember say no to shots, games, rounds, and mixed drinks (especially early in the day). Food and a slow steady pace are your friends, and chugging and wine are not.

Girls, if you follow this "Girls Guide" you'll make it through your next all day drinking event! Though, you're probably going to still be wicked hung over, but at least you'll have hung in there all day, right?

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